Empathy
I have drawn a conclusion about myself in the past couple of days. It is something that I've noticed for a long time but for whatever reason, never quite put the whole puzzle together. My revelation came in response to two incidents where serious discussions were had, but I was overly upset in response to a relatively calm tone and demeanor from the other parties. After a lengthy discussion with the second person this happened with, I finally realized what was going on. I was not reacting to what was being said or their spoken tone or demeanor. I was reacting to the energies they were emoting from the inside. After more discussion, I realized that I am abnormally sensitive to other's emotions...overly empathetic if you will. I can literally feel what other people are feeling without visual or auditory clues.
I guess I just thought my sensitivities were normal. Most people have sympathy for others. Many people relate to other's problems. Some even experience empathy towards others in particular situations...especially if the two people are close. But mine is different. I can feel things that others are not saying. I physically react to very strong outputs from others. My feelings get overly hurt because even if another person doesn't say or act in such a way, I can feel everything that they don't say. Sometimes people bring such a cloud with them, it literally oppresses me. One of our assistants at work is going through something. She wears her sadness like a piece of clothing to me. It is driving me nuts.
It is also aggrevating to me always knowing when people are being less than truthful or outright lying to me. When people lie, they put out strong waves of guilt...even if they are good liars otherwise. Aggitated and people with lots of nervous energy also affect me in a very negative way. It can take me hours to calm down from an encounter with such a person.
Sometimes I will get vibes off of perfect strangers. People I have encountered have been bothersome to me in a way that other's don't see. Sometimes there are voids around people that lead me to believe they are sociopaths. Ill intentions are often felt. Those feelings have saved me a couple of times. I also get needs from people. Case in point, I was recently on a business trip. When I got to my seat on the airplane, I got a sense that the other woman in the row with me really needed and wanted to talk. I had a choice of ignoring it and putting on my headphones or letting her strike up a conversation that I felt she desperately needed to have. I was right. She did need to talk and I felt she had a sense of calm by the time she got off of the plane that she didn't have when she walked on.
My mom has a variation of this "gift." She doesn't recognize feelings off of people in quite the same way that I do unless she has a bond with them, but she can absorb people's pain for short periods of time to give them some relief from various symptoms. It is quite the interesting phenomenon. I was having a particularly bad month of sleep and I was just exhausting myself. I stayed over at their house and finally had a wonderful night of sleep. The next morning, my mom asked how I slept and I replied "fantastic! I have no idea why I slept so well but I did." She smiled and admitted she took on my sleep problem so I could have some rest. She hardly slept that night. She's done that for friends and relatives several times in the past. I've actually witness it happening.
If anyone is reading this that experiences things in a similar way, I would be interested to know some of your experiences. Sometimes this gift is a blessing and sometimes a curse. Because I cannot actually tap into their mind, I don't always know what is causing their output. If I ask and they lie, I know that too. It is very frustrating. I can only help if people let me. Some people give me energy; others drain it. If I open myself up to the experience, I absorb a lot off of other people. I went through a period of 3 years of completely shutting myself off. That led to unhappiness as does opening myself too much. People can unknowingly and knowingly take advantage of me. I haven't quite found the balance of dealing with this ability.
I am interested in any insight readers of this blog might have.
I guess I just thought my sensitivities were normal. Most people have sympathy for others. Many people relate to other's problems. Some even experience empathy towards others in particular situations...especially if the two people are close. But mine is different. I can feel things that others are not saying. I physically react to very strong outputs from others. My feelings get overly hurt because even if another person doesn't say or act in such a way, I can feel everything that they don't say. Sometimes people bring such a cloud with them, it literally oppresses me. One of our assistants at work is going through something. She wears her sadness like a piece of clothing to me. It is driving me nuts.
It is also aggrevating to me always knowing when people are being less than truthful or outright lying to me. When people lie, they put out strong waves of guilt...even if they are good liars otherwise. Aggitated and people with lots of nervous energy also affect me in a very negative way. It can take me hours to calm down from an encounter with such a person.
Sometimes I will get vibes off of perfect strangers. People I have encountered have been bothersome to me in a way that other's don't see. Sometimes there are voids around people that lead me to believe they are sociopaths. Ill intentions are often felt. Those feelings have saved me a couple of times. I also get needs from people. Case in point, I was recently on a business trip. When I got to my seat on the airplane, I got a sense that the other woman in the row with me really needed and wanted to talk. I had a choice of ignoring it and putting on my headphones or letting her strike up a conversation that I felt she desperately needed to have. I was right. She did need to talk and I felt she had a sense of calm by the time she got off of the plane that she didn't have when she walked on.
My mom has a variation of this "gift." She doesn't recognize feelings off of people in quite the same way that I do unless she has a bond with them, but she can absorb people's pain for short periods of time to give them some relief from various symptoms. It is quite the interesting phenomenon. I was having a particularly bad month of sleep and I was just exhausting myself. I stayed over at their house and finally had a wonderful night of sleep. The next morning, my mom asked how I slept and I replied "fantastic! I have no idea why I slept so well but I did." She smiled and admitted she took on my sleep problem so I could have some rest. She hardly slept that night. She's done that for friends and relatives several times in the past. I've actually witness it happening.
If anyone is reading this that experiences things in a similar way, I would be interested to know some of your experiences. Sometimes this gift is a blessing and sometimes a curse. Because I cannot actually tap into their mind, I don't always know what is causing their output. If I ask and they lie, I know that too. It is very frustrating. I can only help if people let me. Some people give me energy; others drain it. If I open myself up to the experience, I absorb a lot off of other people. I went through a period of 3 years of completely shutting myself off. That led to unhappiness as does opening myself too much. People can unknowingly and knowingly take advantage of me. I haven't quite found the balance of dealing with this ability.
I am interested in any insight readers of this blog might have.
posted by Self Therapy | 8:35 AM
1 Comments:
Sounds more like your ability to expand your boundaries into other people's space and then having difficulty bringing the boundary back. Just an observation from what you wrote. Along with extending your own boundary, you are able to feel the other person's feelings more acutely, which can be pretty draining at times (I imagine).
Going home helped you re-establish your boundaries is how I viewed the story of sleeping well at your mom's place. I know just being around my parents, I can fall back into the child role.
Your heightened sensitivity may be brought on by any number of things going on in your life. I am not saying it isn't a gift, but that there may be some influencing factors that have lead to it. I haven't read all of your blog but hope to sometime.
An interesting post. Will stop back!
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