Doctors, Meds, and Misc.

Well, I did it. After 3 years of avoidance, I finally went to see a doctor...and told them about my eating disorder. 200 questions later, I had an official bulimia nervosa diagnosis and a very concerned doctor who immediately ordered me into getting a gammit of tests to determine just how badly I have screwed up my insides. She noted first off that the roof of my mouth has scarring as does my throat. My gums are also inflammed. They did an EKG in the office, sent me over to the hosiptal to get a chest x-ray and echocardiogram STAT! (side note: when a doctor puts STAT on your hospital order, they do actually pay attention). I have to get blood work done to check my hormone and mineral levels. Then I get to go to a gastrointestinal reflux disorder specialist. Then back to the doctor for a full physical and discussion of my results. Then more blood work, then a follow-up appointment. Full throttle ahead on trying to fix whatever it is I have done to myself.

I must say, it is nice to be taken seriously. Part of my fear in going to a dr. in the first place was feeling judged. I know what I'm doing to myself. I can probably tell you all of the side effects I know can occur. Yes, I know that Karen Carpenter died of an eating disorder. Yes, I know Terry Schivo might have slipped into a coma from one as well. I don't always feel like I have a choice. Feel full? Throw up. Feel anxious? Throw up. Feel angry and out of control? Throw up. Feel like you have no control? Throw up. It is such a habit at this point. It will probably take collective support from doctors, therapists, family and friends to help me overcome this as much as possible.

One thing I'm not quite sure about? My doctor wants to put me on Zoloft. It has a track record of helping patients with eating disorders get a grip and fight the compulsion to eat too much and purge. That combined with therapy has yielded results. I'm not big on medicating, however, I know it has been successful for many people...and not so successful for others. So, if anyone is reading this and wants to weigh in on the drug or their thoughts on anti-depressents in general, please comment. I'm researching.