Why It's Great To Be A Bastard

I found a very interesting site all about the history of adoption. It contains several informational research and resources about and for adopted children. In one section was a funny article about why its great to be adopted. It is meant to be humorous. I wanted to post some of my favorites.

2. We have more names than most people.
5. We get to go on this nifty epic search for our roots
6. We develop great research skills.
7. We learn to cut right through the bullshit.
8. We can moonlight as P.I.s
10. Some of our “life stories” would make great movies of the week.
11. When someone says, “Hey, you bastard!” we can just smile and say, “Yo.”
12. Cheap health insurance by leaving “family medical problems” blank.
14. Whenever an a-parent does something idiotic, the knowledge that there is no genetic relationship.
20. We can't get arrested for marrying our 1st cousins
21. Hell!! We can't get arrested for marrying our sister or brother for that matter!!
22. I am a bastard. I am proud of being a bastard. I am not the product of some 3 minute routine baby-making session between two cookie-cutter suburban twits. I am the product of lust and self-gratifying passion. I like that. It makes me feel special.
24. IF we find our birth family we have the chance of having TWO great families!!!
25. If we find our birth family we have a chance of having TWO crappy families!!!!
26. If we find our birth family we have the chance of having ONE great family and ONE crappy family!!!
27 You get to hear *How does that make you feel?* more often than a psychotherapy patient, but you don't have to pay $90 an hour.
28. We get to hear chirpy little twits constantly tell us,“You weren't expected you were selected”
34. You can eat any strange food you wish, and claim it as ethnic and healthful for your people. 35. You can be glad that you did not inherit the mental illness that runs in your adoptive family.
36. You truly have every reason to ponder your navel.
47. You have your own personal Can Of Worms to open despite all warnings!
49. You can laugh at the pseudo bastards when they tell you how much you look like your aparents.
50. When everyone else is running away from the skeletons in their closets; you get to run towards them in your search.
57. You can read the delightful children's book “Are You My Mother” and cry.
58. You can read the delightful children's book “Horton hatches an Egg” and cry.
64. You can warn those around you that you are probably a “bad seed” and might, therefore, snap at any time. . . .
76. You get to see all the nifty faces people make when trying to act casual after you have told them that you're adopted.
77. You always have a reason to be depressed.
79. When caught with a dumb look on your face it can be explained away as simply pondering your roots, true identity, or other related topics.

My personal favorite experience that isn't on this list is being amused at the science teacher trying to figure out what to do with me during the genetics section of the class. Typically, the teacher would send her students forth to research their background so as to determine where all of our nifty little traits came from (e.g. What color eyes do my parents have so we can grid them to see how I got my blue eyes.) And I swear, this stupid project happened every 2 years throughout my entire school years. Anyway, it was always this ordeal to find a different but comparable project for me to do since I was adopted. Some teachers were better than others, but one just told me to do my adopted family. Seriously, how is that going to help me??? All she did was make me feel inferior. Oh well.